Remember when Creighton's Thanksgiving weekend games weren't on television? And everyone was at the mercy of a Maury Hanks-produced trainwreck webcast? That sucked. In Hell they* just sit you down in front of a computer screen and make you watch a 400-year-long cat video that pauses for buffering every six seconds. Just the thought of that is terrifying. Go to church this weekend, people! Unless you're out late Saturday night and your football team plays at noon on Sunday. But otherwise, go to church.

But we used to have to do that all the time! Creighton at Indiana State? Grainy but watchable webcast. Creighton at Evansville? Don't even bother. Creighton at Bradley? On KMTV, which was actually somehow worse than a webcast. Creighton at Long Beach State? Hopefully someone sets up a live feed with his iPhone, otherwise nada.

We may already be taking things for granted. Now that Creighton's in the Big East, even the Jays' game against possibly the worst team in all of college basketball, Eastern Illinois, was on national television. The new Big East is in the second year of its massive 12-year deal with Fox, a deal rumored to be worth in the neighborhood of $500 million, which is great for all of the schools in the Big East raking in $4 million per year from the deal. And I guess it's good for us, because we get to see all these games on television and in HD, but come on, that's way overpaying for Big East basketball, and it's just going to be another contributor to your constantly ballooning cable prices.

In order to cover the $500 million it owes the Big East (and whatever it will owe NASCAR, and MLB, and the PGA, and UEFA), Fox will have to raise the price it charges cable companies like Cox and DirecTV per subscriber to carry Fox Sports 1, which means those cable companies will have to raise your bill. Again. But sports at least provides a somewhat acceptable excuse for the cable channels - we like our sports, and we need to watch them live and not the next day on the Internet. It's the only thing we watch live anymore, which means it's the only thing that they can sell advertising on. So, theoretically, that's something that maybe we should pay a premium for.

But how about this in the news this week: Unless Dish Network agrees to pay CBS higher fees for the right to carry CBS, a BROADCAST TELEVISION STATION, in several large markets it is going to "go black."

"CBS said Dish Network customers will lose access to the CBS broadcast network Thursday if the two companies didn't reach a new deal on terms for carrying the channel by then."

This is outrageous. I'm going to say this one time and one time only: In this instance, I'm Team Dish. CBS is a broadcast, OVER-THE-AIR television station. Guess what happens when it goes into blackout mode on Dish? YOU CAN SWITCH OVER TO YOUR ANTENNA AND STILL GET IT IN PICTURE-PERFECT HD. For zero dollars. If you don't have an antenna, you can buy one for like $10. I have one. I promise it works. I get like 30 stations, including TWO CBS stations - Omaha's and Lincoln's. Two CBS stations for free!

Do you know why it's possible that we can get CBS for free over the air? Because a long time ago, the United States government gave CBS (and NBC, ABC, Fox, the WB, whatever) access to the airwaves FOR FREE. In exchange, it was supposed to devote some time to the news so that the public, you know, knew things. That's it. Throw in 60 minutes of news per day, and the rest of the time the government looks the other way as Les Moonves and CBS commit crimes of cruel and unusual punishment like Two and a Half Men and 2 Broke Girls. And this has led to MASSIVE profits for the company. In 2013, CBS's operating income - pure profit - was $828 million.

WAIT. Nope. Hold on. That was just the company's THIRD QUARTER operating income. And it wants to raise your cable bill again, even though you can watch CBS for free elsewhere. They know that - the reason CBS is the most-watched network in primetime is because old people fall asleep at 7 p.m. with their antennas still tuned to it. But they think you're stupid, so they're trying to get you to pay them more for something you have the right to access for free, and they'll be successful.

Cut the cord. Blow up the whole system and start over. Let's get to the games.

The Big East is still pretty good! DePaul even only has one loss, and has a win over Stanford. That's something! On Monday, there were seven Big East teams receiving votes in the polls. I'm still driving the Butler bus. Conference play is just going to be a battle.

Some good games this week for Big East teams -- more opportunities for resume-boosters. You know who will not be getting a resume-booster? Marquette. Wisconsin will be doing the smoking this week. Is Boston College good? I have no idea. Probably jumped the gun at putting that one in the "good games" section, but too late now. Would be nice if Seton Hall could by some miracle knock off the Shockers in Wichita, but that seems unlikely.

Will Providence be playing the entire Ivy League? Speaking of which -- the Friars played Yale last week. Here is a Yale recruiting video:

NOPE. No way you've watched the whole thing yet. Get back up there and I'll meet you back here in 10 minutes.

I don't know. I go back and forth on this. On the one hand, that's obviously pretty Yaley, but on the other, it's kind of amazing. If you already ooze Yale, I guess you just might as well go for it.

**********

Last week: lost to No. 10 Gonzaga (73-66), defeated Niagara (70-57)

Overall: 5-1 (0-0 Big East)

I don't know. The BIG EAST'S MOST TALENTED TEAM hasn't really beat anyone yet, although Minnesota probably isn't bad. But they were pretty solid against Gonzaga, who I think is one of the top five teams in the country. We'll obviously learn more this week as the BIG EAST'S MOST TALENTED TEAM takes on Syracuse. Here's a throwback for old time's sake:

"Most talented team in the Big East." RT @GoodmanESPN: St. John's now 0-5 in league play after home loss to Providence in double OT.- Ben Standig (@BenStandig) January 17, 2014

**********

Hopefully something! Things haven't exactly been great with the men's basketball team. But you're in luck! The Creighton men's soccer team plays UMBC Friday night in the Elite Eight for a shot at the College Cup. It would be Elmar Bolowich's third College Cup appearance with Creighton in the four year's he's been the Jays' coach. He also went to the College Cup in each of his last three seasons with North Carolina. He is a Wizard, and I hope he considers a position on the Hogwarts Board of Directors when he decides to retire. Also probably a solid income to be made from part-time Quidditch consulting.

The Creighton volleyball team plays Oregon State Friday afternoon in Topeka in the first round of the NCAA Tournament after winning last weekend's Big East Tournament. Kansas is the likely second round opponent should the Jays be so lucky. By the way, if Bolowich has earned a spot on the Hogwarts Board of Directors, Kirsten Bernthal Booth should be at least considered for a cabinet position in the Ministry of Magic. What a magical job she's done in her 12 years -- fourth NCAA appearance in five years for the Jays.

The Creighton women's basketball team dropped its Big East opener at home to Seton Hall. The Jays are at Northern Iowa and then home against Nebraska in the next week.

1. Batman Begins

2. The Dark Knight Rises

3. Gigli

4. The Dark Knight

**********

I suppose we should talk about the Creighton-Nebraska game. In my old age, I've grown to hate this game. Or at least the events leading up to it and immediately following it. It brings out the stupid in everyone. The sweater vest thing is stupid. Creighton fans and their Napoleon Complexes are stupid. But this is the one that kills me:

I hope Nebraska introduces its new coach on Sunday only to force Creighton fans to show their true colors.- Andrew Robinson (@robinsonandrew) December 2, 2014

There is a chunk of Nebraska fans who think every Creighton fan is also a Nebraska fan, which is stupid and incorrect, but that's not even the point here. "Show their true colors." He's jabbing Creighton because Creighton basketball fans cheer for Nebraska in a sport Creighton doesn't have. OK. Is it not a worse look for Nebraska that a Nebraska football fan cheers for Creighton in a sport that Nebraska does have? None of these stupid jabs are thought through at all. It's gotten to the point of unbearableness. Be better, people.